Long Time No Post.

Few months has passed since I last blogged about my fall. It stills feels loose, but sigh, I guess there’s nothing much I can do about it. I am starting to play basketball again.

A few more days till I’m officially an adult.

I am already starting to feel old. Parents are already asking me to think about what I want to do after I get my degree. So far, studying in Hong Kong has really made me realize that living on my own isn’t going to be as hard as I thought it would be.

I used to dread opening my mouth to ask questions. Even asking for a larger size for a T-shirt would scare the crap out of me. But now, I go to the Immigration Tower alone for a reissuance of my No Objection Letter, take public transport all the way to Shatin for my first ever internship interview (which I screwed up anyways, oh well), ask technicians at the department for help (last time I used to be scared to go to the computer laboratory alone) etc.

Google Map does make things a whole lot easier for me too. Ha!

Lol. I am not sure what to blog about. I should be starting to work on the VLAERO+ software so that I’ll have some data to show my lecturer but I, as usual, am still procrastinating. There are many things I want to do. I want to practice basketball, nap a lot, read lots of novels, read up on the 400+ pages VLAERO+ software manual, play ping pong, PRACTICE GUITAR REGULARLY***

So much to do, yet most of my time is being wasted away by sleeping A LOT. It’s like I got infected from my hamsters or something. I wish the crazy one would infect me with its enthusiasm of working out on the wheel. Then I wouldn’t be complaining of being out of shape.

On a more random note: I realize my parents are somewhat strange, eccentric in some sense, which makes me wonder whether my ‘eccentricity’ (if any) comes from them. Gah. But the world does not evolve around me. (I have no idea what I am yakking about).

Pre Mid-life Crisis?

I have been having thoughts about life being meaningless constantly these past few weeks.

Bored, tired and fed up. I definitely know what I don’t want, but when you ask me ‘What is it then do you want?’. Answer: I have no freaking idea myself.

4 hours of sleep at night for 4 days in a row. I know many people probably do that during uni, but honestly, I hate it.

I have a C++ project presentation later in the morning. The information dialog is screwed up even though there doesn’t seem to be any error in it.

I want to do something ‘radical’ after it. Top on my list: Get two tortoises from MK. Next would probably be getting on a random bus. Or sitting inside the mtr back and forth while reading. Getting an air ticket and flying back to Malaysia (or to Taiwan since it’s so near) impromptu. Maybe take a ferry over to Macau. How about spending the night wandering around Mongkok aimlessly and then ‘hike’ back to Pokfulam. I don’t know.

But I have a feeling that I’d just lie in bed, and stare at the ceiling all day till the sun goes down. What joy. I don’t even have the creative to come up with something to do that would bring me remotely any thrill.

Lol. If any of my relatives see this, I would be expecting another very concerned MSN conversation bombardment from them. So, a note to them – I won’t do anything stupid. Do not worry. I am still able to think perfectly straight. Life just seems purposeless at the moment. That’s all.

Good morning.

I Might Be Turning Into Somebody I Don’t Like.

I have been getting really easily pissed off lately.

And I don’t like that. At all.

I don’t want to be sensitive coz at the end of the day, the one who feels extremely shitty – mua. The things people say which they think aren’t hurtful or obviously are jokes, I tend to take it to heart really quickly and snap  at them and give them the silent treatment (that’s what I am best at).

I don’t know whether it’s the pressure this year or I am just turning into a really annoying bitch who throws tantrums for no good reason.

Maybe I ought to stay away from any human contact for a while and let this phase thingy I’m going through pass before I lose all that I treasure.

Will It Be Worth It?

Skipped 3 days of classes as the UNiM gang was here. They were in USA for the Work N Travel program thingy for the past few months. They stopped by in Hong Kong before going back to Malaysia.

3 days worth of adventure makan-ing. 67 plates of dim sum. More than 50 hours of non-stop hearty laughing, more than I’ve ever gotten the past year being in HK.

I miss them all over again.

Saw them off at the airport. I was so not going to cry but that Jieqiang kept going like ‘don’t cry ar don’t cry ar’. I still did not until I was in the bus going back and with the little ‘encouragement’ from emo songs of my ipod Nano, I realized I’d be alone again and I finally teared.

Damn. I had to quickly switch to some rock and keep my head at 90 degrees towards the windows to let the moist dry.

I wonder whether leaving UNiM for HKU was worth it or whether it’ll be. Sigh.

For the Nth time,

I’m a loner at heart, or to make it sound a whole lot nicer – I (think) am independent.

Surprise! I happen to actually like eating lunch alone at the cafeteria with my Ipod on and a good novel. Honestly, I do not see what’s wrong with that. Just because I ain’t in a bunch of crowd gossiping away doesn’t mean I’m weird. I enjoy the peace and quiet.

It’s hard work to maintain conversations. Company just makes me feel lonelier than when I am by myself.

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Apparently, It Can.

After they finished their labs, I contacted Iris. And found out where the mysterious HW LG-3 was. I had to take the lift down and walk down the stairs further. !@$!@#!@#

FINE.

I went back to my hall as you know from the previous post that I had a book due today. I wanted to have a little snack of honey flavoured cereal with milk which I bought fro Wellcome. I thought to myself ‘yay! I finally get to open that carton of milk!’ And when I peeled of the protective thingy and was about to pour it into my bowl of cereal, I noticed the expiry date tag – 17-12-2007. ARGH! SERIOUSLY! I was practically yelling in my room and luckily my roommate was not in.

Oh and that’s not all. I had no choice but to use my Vitasoy as a substitute. As I was squirting it into the bowl, I don’t know what happened and some of it kena my boots. Soyabean-milk-soiled boots. Does have a ring to it, NOT!

If any more crappy stuff happens to me, I’ll really start believing that someone has used some voodoo witch craft, laying a bloody evil curse on me.

There’s a limit to how much ‘positive’ thinking I can generate. I am only starting to get the hang of this ‘look at the cup half-full’ mindset or whatever.

Damn it.

So long.

Since I’ve updated this blog of mine. I thought I would be blogging a lot more than I currently am with the whole overseas-studying thingy going on. I don’t know what it is whether its there’s not that much excitement, me being ‘too busy’ or just plain lazy. You tell me.

I just went through a very stressful phase the past couple of weeks. The realisation of how incapable I actually am, how I achieved practically nothing through out my whole life, I can’t even speak in front of less than 12 people without stammering and having my mind totally go blank.

Another high table dinner just a few days ago. I suddenly discovered to what extent I loathe social gatherings, parties with people I do not know, basically strangers. I do not see why people would like to dress up in uncomfortable dresses, shoes and suits which are very impractical in this freaking cold weather. I do not get the cocktail session where you’re supposed to mingle around with people you don’t give a shit about but in the end everyone just goes back to their own clique (the whole point being….?). Don’t even get me started with the people sitting around me and I really really mean AROUND me, front, back, left, right, 45 deg, 135 deg. They all know each other and they talk AROUND me. I’m just too tired to even try to strike up a conversation because I know just how it’d go and end – “Where are you from?” “Malaysia” “Ohhhh… How come Malaysians know how to speak Cantonese?” “We do have Chinese over there mar…”. Once, it even stopped at the “Malaysia” part.

I do not really care if you think I’m a whiner or whatever. One thing’s for sure, I am not sociable. I rather be left alone if I have to work to get into one’s circle and yet still feel like outsider. Do not pity me when you see me sitting alone during lectures.

Another thing which I hope would burn in hell are the fucking formal suits. Why would anyone want to be dressed in such constraining attire. Honestly.

Despite everything above, I still have some enjoyable ocassions here. Recently, one of them that brings me joy is my jongmates. Before the campaign, I really thought I could die if I continued to maintain such relationships with them. But after the whole campaign (even thought I had to stay 40 hours awake), it did bring us closer together. Brought out a little craziness in me which has been suppressed for super duper long time.

Another is my Malaysian friends. Met up some from Poly U the other night for steamboat, even though we didn’t talk much, but the whole thing felt like I was home again or something. They were really nice and funny people. Eating Magnum ice-cream outside 7-11. Weird but nice. (I think the all-you-can-eat steamboat buffet had to do with the joy I got out of this outing too! :p The plates of beef and flower pork!)

I have so much to do this semester and I am not sure how I am going to cope with it. New stuff to learn, studies to catch up on, basketball practice which I do enjoy very much despite the lack of interaction because my Mandarin sucks, Music Club functions etc.

I f*cking love and hate my life both at the same time!

p.s. Sorry for all the vulgarness which appears from now on. I’m tired of pretending to be decent and proper.

These 2 Weeks.

Well, I landed on the 28th safely (took China Airlines, lol.). Anyways, too many things have happened since then, thus I’ll summarize these two weeks the best I can.

• Met my assigned buddy, Vera for the first time at my hall. Checked into the hall and walked to the campus to register myself.
• Bought daily necessities and stuff.
• Weather is sweltering hot. Waking up almost everyday sweating and at 7pm too (no matter what time I sleep).
• People in Hong Kong are freaking fast walkers. I wonder how they can walk that fast and not break a sweat too! *salutes* Janet and Wai Kuan should really come over here.
• Went for the faculty’s orientation and the orientation for international students. Met some friends which were really crucial to my future social life here at HKU. Seriously. Among them were Mani and the Malaysian people. Was really a loner and my classmates, most of them already knew each other and were divided into gangs plus it was really hard for me to click with them. Mani and her friends were really helpful and nice. (horror stories of HK people are to be disregarded!)
• Joined AIESEC and Music Club. I want to continue learning the guitar! Oh and speaking of guitars, I found out that I won’t be able to come back right after holidays start as I’ll have to stay behind for industrial training or workshop training or whatever you call it during my summer! I’ll only be having maybe one month of holiday instead of three. 1st year and 2nd year. Both. Thank god this is a 3 year course. T.T. HGT! /noo.
• Realized that going to a big and established university is a really totally different experience. You can set your own timetable and they offer you so much courses unrelated to your course. I am going to take up German as it was the only language which fit my timetable. HKD 2000 for 100 hours, around RM1000 for 100 hours which is actually cheaper than going for tuition in Kasturi or whatever right? 10 bucks per hour.
• Was finding Practical Chinese Language for Engineering Students really tough. The course was like taking chinese lessons back at Kuen Cheng High all over again. Got to learn those ‘wei yu, bing yu, zhu yu’ stuff, which characters have the same pronounciation, which characters were wrong etc. OMG! Just imagine the horror I felt. What’s even worse is that the notes were all in TRADITIONAL CHINESE CHARACTERS and the lecturer was conducting the lessons in Cantonese! We had to take a little test to see where our standard lay and throughout the whole thing I was chuckling to myself, tembaking along the way. LUCKILY, I found out from my coursemate who comes from India that he was exempted from taking it and he just had to take another language course. Thus, I went to look for Mr. Sze and he told me I just had to write a formal letter informing the faculty and I too could just take another language course too compensate that exemption. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! I’m planning to take Spanish for Beginners next year as I couldn’t find any language course which fits my timetable this year.
• Went for the basketball recruitment thingy. It was the uni-team selection. Within 20 mins, I sprained my knee. I fell and felt my left knee *krak krak* and when I got up it went *krak krak* again. Their training was really like back in KC, running full court BUT with the exception that there were just 12 of us and instead of the whole basketball club back in KC which consists of more than 60 or 70 people maybe? Sigh. Having not played for so many freaking months plus the 3 months of rotting at home didn’t do me any good. Now I can’t put any pressure on my knees and it feels loose without the knee support. And when I went to the University Health Service yesterday to have a doctor look into my knee, the nurse or whoever told me that the earliest appointment booking was on Tuesday (I sprained it Thursday night) and I was like WTF? It’s like they expect people to know when they’ll fall sick or get injured. What’s the point of even getting the service free if I would have gotten better by the time of the appointment? Very very weird. Anyways, I still booked an appointment. Just to make sure it’s okay. I don’t wanna be not able to play sports for the rest of my life. T.T
• Funny language. I noticed that when I talk to the locals in English, I naturally put on the Canto mode, as in I don’t talk Manglish no more. And when I talk to people from Mainland China, I have to put on that horribly fake China accent and that fake American accent talking to the English speaking students. If I don’t, they never understand me!
• Meals. Usually eat in the cafeteria or just cook instant noodles or those microwave-able rice, Ding Ding Fan! It’s super tasty though! I am going to venture cooking rice myself as soon as my knee gets a little better and I can go grocery shopping. Nyahahahhahaha!

Think that’s all for now. Gotta go cook myself some instant noodles and figure out how to add in carrots and vegetables in it.

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