Suddenly Wishing That I Was Back Home.

In KL.

I don’t know what people want from me just as much as I don’t know what I need from them.

Life seems so much more simpler back home.

Long Time No Post.

Few months has passed since I last blogged about my fall. It stills feels loose, but sigh, I guess there’s nothing much I can do about it. I am starting to play basketball again.

A few more days till I’m officially an adult.

I am already starting to feel old. Parents are already asking me to think about what I want to do after I get my degree. So far, studying in Hong Kong has really made me realize that living on my own isn’t going to be as hard as I thought it would be.

I used to dread opening my mouth to ask questions. Even asking for a larger size for a T-shirt would scare the crap out of me. But now, I go to the Immigration Tower alone for a reissuance of my No Objection Letter, take public transport all the way to Shatin for my first ever internship interview (which I screwed up anyways, oh well), ask technicians at the department for help (last time I used to be scared to go to the computer laboratory alone) etc.

Google Map does make things a whole lot easier for me too. Ha!

Lol. I am not sure what to blog about. I should be starting to work on the VLAERO+ software so that I’ll have some data to show my lecturer but I, as usual, am still procrastinating. There are many things I want to do. I want to practice basketball, nap a lot, read lots of novels, read up on the 400+ pages VLAERO+ software manual, play ping pong, PRACTICE GUITAR REGULARLY***

So much to do, yet most of my time is being wasted away by sleeping A LOT. It’s like I got infected from my hamsters or something. I wish the crazy one would infect me with its enthusiasm of working out on the wheel. Then I wouldn’t be complaining of being out of shape.

On a more random note: I realize my parents are somewhat strange, eccentric in some sense, which makes me wonder whether my ‘eccentricity’ (if any) comes from them. Gah. But the world does not evolve around me. (I have no idea what I am yakking about).

Pre Mid-life Crisis?

I have been having thoughts about life being meaningless constantly these past few weeks.

Bored, tired and fed up. I definitely know what I don’t want, but when you ask me ‘What is it then do you want?’. Answer: I have no freaking idea myself.

4 hours of sleep at night for 4 days in a row. I know many people probably do that during uni, but honestly, I hate it.

I have a C++ project presentation later in the morning. The information dialog is screwed up even though there doesn’t seem to be any error in it.

I want to do something ‘radical’ after it. Top on my list: Get two tortoises from MK. Next would probably be getting on a random bus. Or sitting inside the mtr back and forth while reading. Getting an air ticket and flying back to Malaysia (or to Taiwan since it’s so near) impromptu. Maybe take a ferry over to Macau. How about spending the night wandering around Mongkok aimlessly and then ‘hike’ back to Pokfulam. I don’t know.

But I have a feeling that I’d just lie in bed, and stare at the ceiling all day till the sun goes down. What joy. I don’t even have the creative to come up with something to do that would bring me remotely any thrill.

Lol. If any of my relatives see this, I would be expecting another very concerned MSN conversation bombardment from them. So, a note to them – I won’t do anything stupid. Do not worry. I am still able to think perfectly straight. Life just seems purposeless at the moment. That’s all.

Good morning.

Honestly.

My life is generic and boring. I’d love to switch jobs constantly in the future, from being a pyrotechnician to a behind the stage concert worker! Haha.That would definitely give my parents a heart attack.

This sudden seemingly irrealistic impulse derived from reading ‘The Alchemist’. It was so so. Talked about following your ‘Personal Legend’ and to follow your dreams, stuff like that.

I’d like to be a modern day gypsy, travelling from one place to another. I think I’d be fine looking at the fact that I love doing stuff alone. Oooh, I want to work in a animal conservation too! Engineering might be the ‘right’ course for me and my logical personality, but, now when I think about it, I’m not really sure that I want to spend my days holed up in an office cubicle, clicking the mouse away. Physical work has always made me happy. I remember I did such a good job in Junior One while cleaning the instruments of the Chinese Orchestra Club that they made me 清洁股 the next year. Lol.

Laugh at my wild and ridiculous you may, I just might do it (when I’ve gathered up my guts). :p

I Can’t Sleep Again.

I wonder whether it’s due to the fact that I napped like 3.5 hours in the afternoon from 1-4.30 p.m.

I am able to bend my knee to a degree of 70 and managed to do a straight leg raise about 1 inch off the bed. It hurts sometimes when I keep it at a position for a time too long. This is the reason why I haven’t been really getting a good night’s sleep these few days as I keep waking up at 4a.m. due to the pain. Even when I fall back to sleep, I still wake at 7a.m. But don’t worry, being the Master of Napping that I am, I make up for it by napping in the afternoons.

Year 2009. I just dropped my considerably new mouse and am having trouble sleeping. I am so off to a bad start. Not to mention stuff on my mind and my lab reports plus the application thingy which I am still procrastinating.

New year’s resolution: Do not procrastinate. Clear up all work ASAP and not let them pile up till the very last minute.

Sigh. Happy new year everyone!

The Most 2 Tiring Weeks.

Funny how I tend to blog when I actually need the time to study like hell. Oh well.

It has been preparing for exams and exams all these two weeks. And I am so not in my best condition to face them. For one, I haven’t had any nap time at all since like I don’t know, the start of the semester? People who really know me knows that I nap like a pig. It helps me charge up my ‘capacitor’. But this semester, it has been almost empty if not always. I couldn’t even stay up late to burn the midnight oil even if I wanted to the past few days. My eyes were bloodshot red, I had a headache almost everynight and had to resort to Panadols (which I totally hate).

To add more to my ‘injury’, I have not been eating well all this semester. One meal per day is the norm. Two if I’m lucky. And I went through a phase where I lost my apetite for no apparent reason once or twice during the semester. To my dear DBKL-ers, I have lost my ability to gorge down food like my stomach’s a never-ending pithole. I have lost the weight which I gained since I came to Hong Kong. The only good thing about this is, my old jeans fit again.

But the consequences of not having enough nutrients? I totally feel it now. Now I understand why my mum put so much emphasis on me eating right and having enough rest all these years.

Pressure I put on myself to keep up my grades isn’t helping at all. Having to finish each subject within 2 days is impossible. I almost broke down at the exam hall for one paper coz I got stuck at 5 lines for each and every question. A friend who is ‘unwell’ worries me. My fire to do revision has been extinguished since the 2nd paper ended (and I still have two left, two back-to-back exams in two days).

Re-read what I just typed above. It’s all a mess. Exactly what my brain feels like now. It used to be fairly structured, logical and not totally random.

Even my smell senses have gone whacked. I smell KFC all of a sudden and I feel like eating it. I am so tired.

At End of The Day

I have no one to talk or turn to.

Period.

For the Nth time,

I’m a loner at heart, or to make it sound a whole lot nicer – I (think) am independent.

Surprise! I happen to actually like eating lunch alone at the cafeteria with my Ipod on and a good novel. Honestly, I do not see what’s wrong with that. Just because I ain’t in a bunch of crowd gossiping away doesn’t mean I’m weird. I enjoy the peace and quiet.

It’s hard work to maintain conversations. Company just makes me feel lonelier than when I am by myself.

Metamorphosis?

I think I’ve changed a lot and still am in the process of it. From caring too much about what other people think of me to being able to not give a crap, from Avril Lavigne pop to U2, Stereophonics, Pink Floyd etc. (thanks to Music 101 guru Daphne :p) . For better or for worse, I am not too sure but I feel much happier now. Bwahahahahaha!

But some things never change.
http://www.nba.com/video/topten_archive.html

The ankle-breakers and teamwork! Oh my god! Now I remember why I love the game.

My Whole Body System

…is fucking screwed.

I looked at the clock 2a.m. this morning and thought naturally to myself ‘Oh… It’s still early.’

Only did I realize after a while how screwed my sleep really is, to the extent that it’s even affecting my brain.